I thought I would try something a little different. I thought for once I wouldn't hide. For once, I would show the world and myself what I TRULY look like...The progress that I have made.
So with that...
I have spent the last two years trying the change my body. Regardless of how much weight I have lost (85 pounds for those of you who do not keep up with me on Facebook) I see the same thing in the mirror...I see this face...
I still see the jowls and the double chin and ever cell of fat that I have ever had puffed up in my body...
As of this morning...this is what I ACTUALLY look like...
No double chin...no jowls...no longer do I have a round face...even my eyes are slightly different. I look GREAT!! (I still have adorably weird small people though...lol)
I will admit that I hide behind them. I strategically place the people in my life to hide the body that I want to the world to never see...But honestly it isn't the world that I am hiding from. It is me. I don't want to see...
No more...So here goes... I am going to show some photos of the part of me that I love and don't love all at the same time.
#1 - Arms!!
My arms have changed SO much...I mean look at how much I have drooping down in the photo on the right...The worst part to me is that that I could knock down buildings with the movement loose skin when it gets a swinging...and that is what it is. When I was 330 pounds it was fat and skin...now at 245 pounds it is skin...and it moves...and it makes it hard to find shirts with sleeves that fit...I HATE IT!!!
But then look at the left...Look at the curve of my shoulder and the line of my bicep and my tricep...You can SEE the MAJOR muscle definition that I have managed to develop. It makes me so proud and I can't help but find my arms sexy...despite the sag.
#2 - Back!!
I have had "back fat" since I was a kid...I have always hated it..I have always tried to hide it with sports bras and tank tops and such...I still don't like it...but still I look at these photos and I can't help but notice a few things...first..My arms...as we have already established...are AWESOME...second...look how tiny my waist is compared to my shoulders and my hips...I have an hour glass figure...this is something I have NEVER had before...I used to be a square...This shape helps me pull off the "Fit and Flare" dresses which according to EVERYONE looks good a on very few people..
#3 - Belly
This is by far my LEAST favorite part of my body...I mean...it is all stretched out and it sags and it is HUGE...at least in my mind...I see the least amount of change in this particular area...I work out daily...Most of them utilize my abs and I know there are there...but you can't see them...Then in the right photo...you can see how HORRIBLE my posture is...What hits me the most is how I still stand like a "fat" person. I still stand like my spine is having to support an additional 80 pounds of adipose tissue...I am going to have to look into how to change this.
Special thanks to my hubby for taking all my photos...he put up with me making him retake them about fifteen times...mainly due to background...My house is a bit of a mess.
One photo that was taken that I have posted yet was the most amusing to me. I wanted to know what it looks like as I so some of my work outs. You know like a push up or a plan or something...I know what it feels like. I can feel the tugging from the excess skin. So here is the photo that my hubby took...
Keep in mind...I am only 50% of the way to my goal...But look at how much loose skin that I have. Don't take this the wrong way...I am by no means embarrassed. I look at this as an accomplishment. I have changed my body to the point that proof can be attained though photos...I can't wait to compare these photo to new photos in a year!
Where there you go...no more hiding...Everything you could ever want to see...or perhaps more than you ever wanted to see... but this is me...this is the progress that I have made. No only physically but mentally. Two years ago, heck one year ago I would NEVER have taken let along posted any of these!
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