Monday, December 16, 2013

Ever feel like you are just making excuses?

Today was weigh in day at Curves....Man did I NOT want to get out of bed....I so badly wanted to just go back to sleep under my warm blanket for the 60 extra minutes I could get....but I didn't!

Once again stepping on the scale my weight was up...I wasn't surprised by this....here is why:

  1. I hadn't worked out in over a week....something like 13 days to be exact
  2. It is my time of the month...the oh so fun 10 days of crazy hormones and water retention
  3. Sinus infection...I have been since (which is why I didn't work out) and am still on antibiotics.
  4. Final exam stress...this one has been a doozy despite the fact that I have done really well on all of my exams.
So I look at this list....and I UNDERSTAND why my weight is up....but I feel like I am making an excuse. I am excusing the choices I made and what I ate and what I did or didn't do. It doesn't feel like I am genuinely taking my lumps over my failure. My goal for the last four months was to get out of the 270's. I wanted to weigh 269.?? by December 27th. That would put me down 60 pounds, forty pounds shy of the 100 I WANTED to lose when I made my goal on my surgery day. I don't consider it an over all failure that I won't make 100, 60 pounds is still pretty good. What I do consider a failure is that fact that I have been within 5 pounds of my goal for MONTHS!!!!!!

I can't get past the 60 pound mark to save my life!!!!

I am frustrated....and I don't know what to do shy of living on protein shakes...I am sure I will figure it out but in this hormone induces pity party of one I am frustrated, sad, and stressed. Stressed that no matter what I do I will still be this fat next December.

I need to snap out of it....I start my new job tomorrow and the rest of my life is falling into place...This had got to stop and I need to stop making excuses. I need to decide that succeeding is MORE important then the piece of fudge. Or that I AM important enough to take the time to go to the gym even if that means going to bed early (which wouldn't be a bad idea over all).

Over the next few days I am going to be coming up with my new goal post-it...Hope I can get myself into a better frame of mind!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Radio Silence & Weeks 48-50 Weigh in!

Weigh in for week 48
Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275.8

Today’s Weight – 275.0

Total Weight Loss – 55.6

Weigh in for week 49
Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275.0

Today’s Weight – 277.8

Total Weight Loss – 52.8

Weigh in for week 50
Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 277.8

Today’s Weight – 275.6

Total Weight Loss – 55


Well....as you can see....not making very good progress!

Granted I have gotten the weight off my little gaining week...

Radio Silence

Ok, so I haven't been around much lately...I have a VERY good reason...I have been studying for finals week at school. This entail three exams BEFORE finals and four exams the week of final (This week....one on Monday, two on Tuesday and one today)

Thank goodness that is over!

I went into this semester hoping to get B's. That isn't a great grade as far as I am concerned but it would keep me about the level I need for Latin Honors.

Not all my grades are official but at this point I got an A in International Marketing and an A- in Income Tax. The other two classes are up in the air. For Financial Accounting and Report II I could get a B+ IF I get a score better then 96%....To keep my B I need to get a 55% so I have no idea...My last  class Intro to Operational Management....I have NO clue. The way he grades things and the way he sets his "Scale" are odd....so I could end up with everywhere from a A- to a B....

I have to admit...I kinda hate that my college utilized the +/- system....They are given different values as far as computing your GPA goes....I just with an A were and A and a B were a B....that would be nice!!!

Anyways...I am starting my new job on Tuesday....this is kinda terrifying...I haven't had a job in 4 years!

I will do my best to stay around more....but if nothing else I will be back on Wednesday!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Curves Complete Weigh in

Cuz this double weigh in stuff isn't confusing...lol

November 16th - 280.0 (Initial Weight)
November 23rd - 276.4
December 2nd - 276.6

I gained .2 ... Not horrible over Turkey Day...granted that wasn't my biggest hurdle...it was my birthday on Saturday....YAY for being 29!!!...Between the popcorn (twice) and the ice cream and the eating out...it was a GREAT birthday but not so hot on the diet part.

We decorated the Christmas tree yesterday....That process was kinda...icky...

When we pulled the box from the shed it has a gap and that forced me to open it while still out side...I am glad that I did...inside I found a next and in that a mummified mouse...it was N A S T Y!!!!

So bleach water and febreze later...and it only slightly smells like an old lady's house.

Shameless excuse to use a photo of my babies!!!
We need to hunt out that garland and various other decorations but....I am glad the tree is up!

Ok...so back on the diet wagon...going to survive the next four weeks....Bandiversary is coming!!!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Well today didn't go as planned...we some of it did.

My day started off on the wrong foot.

I was woken up @ 5am cuz my precious baby boy wanted to watch a movie. This is fairly normal and didn't phaser me at all...I crawl back into bed and look at the clock...it read 5:10am and I knew that my alarm was set for 5:55am. "Sweet, nearly an hour...."

Just a little explination...I had to be up at that time to go to my diet and nutrition coaching session at Curves at 6:15am. On top of that, I had to be home by 6:30am to get my daughter up and ready to head to the surgery center...

Anyways, I was woken up at 6:40am when my mother in law was disarming the alarm system in my home. I panicked....I managed to get dressed, get my daughter dressed, and get out the door in under 3 minutes!

We later found out that my stupid MP3 player that we use as an alarm clock thought that it was 1:34am on January 2nd, 2000. That thing is such a piece of crap and I wish I could say that was the only time this has happened...but it isn't. I may have to break down and buy a new one! Anyways....

When we got to the surgical center we wondered all around this medical building trying to find where we were supposed to be...a sign would be nice...I told them this in the patient survey...anyways, we get there and get checked in.

MY GOD those people are WONDERFUL!

They let my baby girl "adopt" a new friend....

Hi name is Philip and made her day...the nurses are great with her...they turned her bed into a race car and she had a HUGE grin on her face when they took her back to the operating room. I was amazed within 20 minutes they were calling me back because her procedure was done and she was waking up.

We learned something today...she is a grumpy when she wakes up from anesthesia.

Closest to a smile I could get....See her HUGE toe!
She was a trooper....

Thank goodness I have been working out...She didn't want to walk up the stair...her foot was still a little numb and she was milking this entire process...so I carried her and myself up the stairs. She only weights 76 pounds....but it was weird it was like NOTHING. I had zero issues getting her and myself up stairs. I got her tucked in on the couch.

See...she is just miserable!...lol
Thankfully this part of the day went well...for that I will gladly take the amazingly AWFUL way I woke up. Thanks to my Mother In Law for being early and sticking around the wake up my hubby.

So, I went to my Curves Coaching Session at 10:30 am since Diane called and let me reschedule...she was amazing....I am down 3.6 pounds from last Monday so that is cool...Lets hope I can keep it up so that it shows up on Wednesday.

Some stuff not about today....

We went and saw Santa yesterday at Bass Pro Shop...We have this little family tradition of going to Texas Roadhouse afterwards....Last year I was MISERABLE....The stupid booth cuts into my guts and it was embarassing that I had to slide in and out like some over stuffed drawer....This year....

I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE FRICKEN TABLE!!!! I had to lean forward to have my fatness overhang the table like last time! WOOT! go me!

My babies...just for grits and shins!!!!!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

10 things to get everything caught up...

1.  I have only two weeks before my final fall semester of my senior year of college is over. I am off for the next week and while it might be a "school break"  I have more homework due in that time then I have ever had due at one time...it is kinda ridiculous!!

2. Over this last semester, I have been toying with the idea of getting an internship or trying to find a job for when I graduate. I have a confession...I haven't tried very hard. I applied for one internship...it was at Edward Jones...I went to an event called "Accounting Networking Night"  that was held on my college campus met a ton of accounting firms and made a short list in my head about where I thought I might want to work when I graduate.... Anyways, I got the internship at Edward Jones, which I just resigned from last night, but I got a call from a firm that was at the top of my short list of where I wanted to work...I never applied there never spoke to anyone outside of that networking night. End result? I spent two weeks in hell waiting to find out the result if the MOST FUN interview I have never had....I got the job!!!! I start in two weeks! I have a plan....I have four months to convince them that they cannot possible live without me...This is the prefect job that just seemed to fall in my lap....I just can't help but feel like this is going to work out in my favor in the long run!

3.I LOVE Curves Complete...It is fun...it is convenient, and I find myself surrounded by a TON of women who understand and support me...it is what I have been missing this whole process....I also now have a eating plan that tells me what to eat and when to eat and makes it easy for me to follow. I love my LPN at my surgeons office but she wants me to live on protein shakes and I can't do that.

4. I graduate with my Bachelors of Science in Accounting in May!....That weekend I am going to throw a HUGE BBQ with friends and family and hopefully presents!

5. My baby girl...my poor darling baby girl has to have surgery on Monday. It isn't anything huge. She has an infected ingrown toe nail and the podiatrist doesn't want to torture her by holding her down to numb her toe....so they are going to knock her out and do it that way....She is panicking so I am focusing on keeping her calm....she will be fine but she will milk this for all that it is worth I can promise you that!

6. I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done....I am super excited about that fact. The only thing that is dangerous about that is that fact that the longer I have with no shopping to do the more money I tend to spend on my kids....They are just so damn cute!

7. I have a secret...and I have kept said secret from everyone since June.....so lets see if I will be able to keep this secret for a few more weeks!

8.  I get to go see the new Hunger Games movie...I am so excited...I am totally and completely obsess with not only The Hunger Games but also with Jennifer Lawrence...We share a name and she is my hero! Despite the fact that she is younger then me!

9. I have to buy new clothes....like more then just a single pair of pants to see me through. This new job that I got is in a professional office...that means skirts, dresses, and slacks with blouses and jackets....I don't own any that fit...ok I own exactly one set of dress slacks with a jacket....but they are getting to big...which is a good thing...but good lord this is going to be an expensive next couple of months!

10. In one week...on November 30th, 2013 I will be 29! That means that I have only 12 months until I turn 30....I am sure excited about that (No sarcasm here)...I cannot wait to be out of my "20's". All of my mom friends are at least 30 years older then me...I will always been the youngest mom but it would nice to not feel like the baby so much.

Well there is my ten things....hopefully everyone is a little more caught up and I will try really hard not to go so long in between posting....I need this little outlet and it is fun to share!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Week 47 Weigh In

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 276.4

Today’s Weight – 275.8

Total Weight Loss – 54.8

Mini Goal: Be under 270 by December 27th, 2013!

THANK GOD!

I may only be down .6 but good lord!

Ok, so I was HORRIBLE over the weekend...I had two scoops of FULL fat FULL sugar WORLDS BEST AND MOST GREATEST ice cream, not only on Saturday but on Sunday as well. Oberwise is just evil having Egg Nog and Pumpkin flavors....it is so fricken good!...and only around for two months out of the year. EVIL!

So, I can't say how I am doing on the Curves Complete plan since I won't weigh in until Monday for them...

I can say that I feel AMAZING!

Here we go!





Sunday, November 17, 2013

The changes a year can make!

Family Photo 2012 (6 weeks before surgery)
That is what I looked like a year ago...obviously I am the overweight women in red and not the most beautiful children you have ever seen...My hubby is pretty good too!

I have been dreading this day for almost a year. Today was going to be proof that I had either made progress or I hadn't....I REALLY REALLY wanted be weighing in at around almost a hundred pounds lost...but that didn't happen. As of today, I am at 54 pounds down. That is about 40 pounds short...but the results are.....

Family Photo 2013 (46 Weeks Post-Op)
THANK GOD I LOOK DIFFERENT!

Even my hubby looks different. He is down about 30 pounds since 2012. So proud!

Next year it will be even more AWESOME!

Friday, November 15, 2013

Time keeps marching on...

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 274.8

Today’s Weight – 276.4

Total Weight Loss – 54.2

Mini Goal: Be under 270 by December 27th, 2013!

Wow...look at that...a gain two weeks in a row!

Things are on the mend though....I recently signed up for Curves Complete....It is a workout and meal plan with a nutrition and fitness coach. It has an online meal plan. I don't have to count anything...I just eat when it tells me too...and what it tells me to eat. I have to admit that I have been looking for this. The one thing that always lacked from my surgery after care was that I just wanted someone to tell me what to eat....my LPN always just stressed PROTEIN SHAKES!!! I don't know about the rest of you but I CANNOT survive on only protein shakes for weeks or months at a time.

So I am looking forward to this...I am going to combine the balanced eating of a plan that makes GREAT sense...and a work out that is fun....

I have to admit I was intimidated by the meal plan...there was SO much food that I needed to buy that I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to pay for all of this...then I read an article about ALDIS.

OMG this place is AWESOME!!! This is what I bought....



  • Turkey bacon
  • celery
  • sweet potatoes
  • yukon gold potatoes
  • asparagus
  • bell peppers
  • strawberry
  • kiwi
  • onions
  • tomatoes
  • canned pumpkin
  • Stevia packets
  • salsa
  • Green beans
  • Peanut butter cups (They are allowed...I can trade out 3 mini cups for one of my snacks)
For all of that...I paid $33.44...that is crazy!!!

I paid $0.59 for 10 onions...that is less then I even paid for 1 onion at the grocery store.  I SOOO wish I had found this store before....Ok I can't claim to know what their other foods are like (My hubby hates them...wouldn't let me shop there before)...but produce is produce!!

I shall keep you posted!

Friday, November 8, 2013

WOOT WOOT!!

Tomorrow is my little baby man's 3rd b-day party!

His actual birthday isn't until Tuesday....

I made this!....

It is a Gluten Free chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting...everything on the cake is homemade (The cake is a mix from a box...but still)...The only things I DIDN'T make was the cupcake rings and the little Thomas Train Figure...

I RULE!!!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Hard to believe it has been 45 weeks

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 274.0

Today’s Weight – 274.8

Total Weight Loss – 55.8


Well I gained .8

Whether or not it is right I have a theory...

Last week I lost 3.4...with the exception of my "Pre Surgery Diet" I have never lost that much in a week...

So I think my body is rebounding....

I know this wasn't because of anything I did...I have been good...I have found a rhythm that I am happy with...

So on to next week!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

44 Weeks and counting!

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 277.6

Today’s Weight – 274.0

Total Weight Loss – 56.6


Not too shabby.....-3.6 pounds in a week!

Lots going on but not focused enough toe rant about them!

I will keep you posted!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Weigh-in Wednesday

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 279

Today’s Weight – 277.6

Total Weight Loss – 53

I love that my scale has the date on it!
Oh thank god...I am back on track.

I have learned a few things over the last three weeks...

1. Protein Protein Protein!
2. Water Water Water
3. Faith in your self
4. Exercise
5. Find ways to have what you want/need while staying on plan!

I learned that when I get just 30 minutes of some sort of movement I don't suffer from head hunger. I don't munch and I find myself making better choices.

Going to see if I can keep this up for another week!


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Accountability

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275

Today’s Weight – 279

Total Weight Loss – 51.6


I needed that photos....right there....that one that showed HOW bad I have been doing over the last two weeks...How far I have allowed myself to fall off the wagon.

Sure I have TONS of "reasons"....TONS of "excuses" that I could list off and drone on about but I won't. I have done that lately and obviously it hasn't made much of a difference. The only important thing is that I have CHOSEN to not eat what I should and I have CHOSEN to eat what I shouldn't!!

I have given up the gluten...it makes me feel like crap...after three days I am going though a bit of withdrawal but I am starting to feel better...so I am going to keep on keeping on!


Sunday, October 13, 2013

Completely off track

Well, I seem to have stalled.

The problem is NOT with the band or with the way my body is responding to the band.

The problem is between my ears...The part of my brain that controls what my fringers take up to my mouth!

I gotta do something...perhaps I will focus on getting the sugar out of my diet...I think once again I am going to put myself on a liquid protein diet for a few days...I obviously can't be trusted right now.

I hate when I get like this..I get so down on myself...and the worst part is that I do this to myself...I allow myself to eat something I shouldn't...I justify it as..."Oh I will just have one...and then I get back on track" and the sad thing is that I NEVER get back on track....until I hit rock bottom and decide that I just need to get my shit together.

That is about where I am...

And if I was ever going to pick a week to get my shit back in order it is this week...

My kids are on Fall Break and will be staying with their Papa most of the week...For whatever reason they think when they don't have school that they get to live at Papa's....If someone let me have free reign and eat whatever I wanted ALL THE TIME I would want to live there to...lol

I am going to strive to make better choices...increase my protein and water in take...REMOVE SUGAR FROM MY LIFE....and get back to working out every day!

So we shall see what happens this weigh-in Wednesday!




Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I GOT THE JOB....

I interview on Friday @ 11:00am!

On Tuesday (one business day later), I received a phone call from Edward Jones tell me that they wanted to offer me the internship position!

Whether it is true or not I am taking this fast turn around to mean that I am AWESOME!

On other news, I have another Job interview with Edward Jones for a full time position that will start the June after I graduate!

I haven't weighed in...just not feeling it today! I know that is cheating but whateves...lol

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

40 weeks since....

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275

Today’s Weight – 272.2

Total Weight Loss – 58.4

YAY!

I am down 2.8 pounds!

I had stepped on the scale on Thursday last week and was a bit disheartened by the fact that it read 277. Like I said last week, I try not to look too much into it since my weight fluctuates stupidly.

Anywho...I am pretty excited about my weight loss...

I am officially the lightest I have been on this journey and the lightest I have been since FOREVER!

So on the running front...

I tried to go back to running...and after about 100 feet my hip started hurting. The next day it was so sore. I am back on the regimen of ice and stretches. I talked to my bone doc and he said that I have a short IBT which is the tendon that runs down the outside of your hip. It can aggravate the bursae in your hip and be painful. He has a bunch of stretches for me to do and hopes that I can fix the short tendon thing. Apparently it is going to hurt like hell but if it will get me moving I am game.

So it is back to the row machine...watching my protein...drinking lots of water...and we will see what next week brings!



Monday, September 30, 2013

H O L Y C R A P ! ! ! ! !

I have a job interview on Friday!

I have not been on an interview since April of 2007!....That is like 6.5 years!

I haven't had a job since January of 2010!

I have been happily playing the role of stay at home mom and full time student for the last three years, but the time in my school career for an internship has arrived!

I am interviewing at Edward Jones for their tax hotline internship...I have also signed up to interview for the RDP...It is their full time positions for recent college graduates...I really really hope I get both!

Friday, September 27, 2013

For the first time in 39 weeks...

I have missed a weigh in....

As you know I typically weigh in on Wednesdays...

Well this Wednesday, I had to be up by 5 and out of the house by 6:30am.

I had to take the GMAT

The GMAT is the Graduate Management Aptitude Test. It is the standard entrance exam when you are applying to graduate school. At my particular school they don't have a requirement per se...but they have this "discovery" they quote. It states that they have found that people who get less then 500 in total score and less then a 30 in the quantitative section tend to struggle or fail to pass the MAcc progam.

After all the stress and studying...I pulled off a 580 and a 39 respectively. While those scored only put me in the 55th percentile (I scored higher then 55% of all people that have taken this exam in the last 5 years) I am happy with it. People that take the GMAT aren't like the general public that take the ACT/SAT.  They actually WANT to get a good grade to accomplish something..

So anyways...between all of this test stuff I forgot to step on the scale.

Since my weight fluctuates SO drastically from day to day I am just going to wait until next Wednesday to weigh in...

Oh, and I got the all clear to "try" running again...I shall keep you posted!

Monday, September 23, 2013

New workout plan...

So I have taken the advice of many of you who read my humble blog and one of my medical professional friends...

I have taken up rowing as my exercise of choice...

I bought a personal/home row machine
It is actually pretty nice for $120.

Boy does it make my arms and shoulders sore though!

It will be nice to be sore while I am STRESSING over the week from hell

It is also nice to get to work out again. This beautiful machine puts ZERO pressure on my wounded hip and I even get a little sweaty.

They have row machines at school...I plan on taking advantage of them as well!

We shall see how this goes!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Just a little late...

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 274.2

Today’s Weight – 275

Total Weight Loss – 55.6

I wasn't late weighing in...I am late in signing in...

Life has been stressful.

Nursing an injury sucks emotionally for me. I don't know how it affects anyone else, but I get down. I get mad at myself and at my body. I mean, here I am trying to better my life...I am trying to get into shape and my body won't let me...When I get emotional I eat. It isn't that I eat a lot, but I start craving things I shouldn't...like pasta!

So I am back on track and I have a new plan...

Onwards!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Shitty shitty shitty day...

Well today has kinda been crap

As if you didn't get that from the title...

So, here is the explanation:

1) I love running...but I no longer get to do that. At the very least not for the next week. Apparently this "muscle" pain I have been trying to work though for the last five days is actually inflammation in the bursae sac that is under the tendon on the out side of my hip. It is PISSED! The only time it doesn't hurt is when I am running but about an hour after I can barely walk. It even hurts to sleep on it...

I have been given the following

  • No impact exercise...this includes walking, jogging, and elliptical machines.
  • Stretch the area 6-9 times a day
  • Ice the area 6-9 times a day following stretching.
  • Taking anti-inflammatory medication as often as directed on bottle.
Basically I can lift weights as long as I am sitting or laying down. So that is going to put a damper on things

2)Not being able to work out put me in a bad mood...

3)My poor baby girl lost her tap shoes tonight...this is only on this list because it makes me sad to punish her. She doesn't know that. She thinks that I enjoy being mad at her I think. I get that she is only 6 but at some point she needs to be more aware of that fact that stuff cost money...Luckily for her her dance teacher had found them and gave them too us. By this point however, she had lost the privilege of going to dance class, she lost movie time, and even had to go to bed without a bed time snack. I am just so mean!

I just can't get over this whole injury thing...every time I try and exercise with any level of dedication I get hurt and have to stop. I don't want to stop...I am going to but I do it under protest.

I guess I will just have to focus on keeping my nutrition on point and that will have to make up for it!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Weekly Weigh-in

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 276.4

Today’s Weight – 274.2

Total Weight Loss – 56.4


Thank god!

It is going in the right direction.

I have been running everyday...except Monday....I have to admit I like the treadmill....I honestly didn't think that I would....I mean fat people don't run right?

Taken in the locker room @ UMSL
And I mean you have to be pretty determined to get your workouts in if you weigh 275 pounds and will still wear workout gear that is made up of mostly spandex....I have tried to run in less "fitted" clothes but that doesn't work...All my excess skin and remaining chub rub and make things sore...and I get so hot with a lose shirt over the above...so skin tight Spandex it is!

I think I am getting closer to having my food under control, with the exception of Sunday my eating was on point (Dang you gluten free tarts!) . I don't focus on calories as much as making sure I get my protein and don't go over my carbs....I figure if those two things are on point then I am good! If I can pull that off for around 1200 calories that is a BONUS!

Well, I am sure I can think of many things to post, but I won't...lol

Friday, September 6, 2013

Day 2 recap...yeah we can go with that

Day 2 wasn't as great at Day 1....

That is NOT to say that it was horrible!

Food was as follows: (Goal / Actual)
Calories: 1200 / 1488
Protein - 100 / 95
Carbohydrates -30 / 59 (23 of which were 3/4 cup of grapes)
Fat - 96
Fiber - 14
Sugar - 10 / 29 (20 of which came from 3/4 cup of grapes)

Calories burn -2850 / 3609

I was very proud of myself...I got my run in yesterday between classes. I have to admit the treadmills at the school gym were a bit weird but they got the job done just fine. In fact it was kinda fun...

Got mocked by some preppy thin girl who was using the machine just down from me.

I never let these people bother me...apparently I bother them by existing since only skinny people should be in the gym but still....I hate people like this. I am a hugely confident person. I like me just fine. I don't really give a crap what some skinny chicka with a chip on her shoulder thinks...but there are other people in the world. Other overweight women and men who want to change their lives. All they need is the access and maybe even a little motivation to just stick to it. If the person this girl had spoken to the way she did to me, wasn't me, she could have shamed her into leaving. That is such a shame.

Anyways...on to better days!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Day 2 - Back on Track

My food was AWESOME yesterday...

Calories - 1069
Protein - 99
Carbs - 19
Fiber - 5
Sugar - 10

I hit all of my numbers....

well I guess technically I missed my protein...my surgeon wants 100 grams. I missed by 1!

I even got in a run yesterday. I did Week 1 Day 1 of the C25K program....Got all nice an sweaty!

Today is going to be a crazy day...I have school until 3:15 then I have "Accounting Networking Night" at my college. It is an opportunity to meet a bunch of recruiters from firms around Saint Louis. I am not looking for work yet, but perhaps an offer will come my way that I can't resist....Say 55K a year + paying for my masters? I might not be able to say no to that!

Anyways....I was trying to figure out how I was going to get my workout in today...Then I remembered, becasue I am an idiot...that I have access to the Rec Center on my college campus...and I have a 1:45 break between classes....10 minutes to walk there....30 minutes of jogging...10 minutes for a shower...10 minutes for walking..that still leaves 45 minutes to eat my lunch! Much more productive then reading a book in my car....

Question out there for anyone who wants to answer it....

Do you think eating fruit (ie grapes) should discourage you when your carbs are high?

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Week 36 Check In

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275.2

Today’s Weight – 276.4

Total Weight Loss – 54.2


Well...not a shock....

Doesn't mean that it is good....or that I am making an excuse.

Merely wasn't a surprise.

I am going to get back on track.

Game Plan:

  • Work out 30 minutes a day...no matter what!
    • Spending 30 minutes a day being uncomfortable or a lifetime of being obese.
  • Eat lots of protein.
    • My surgeon wants 100g a day.
  • Keep carbohydrates to a minimum
    • I still don't know if this counts fruit. No one can ever seem to answer that question. My 3/4 cup of grapes is 23 grams of carbs....so hmmmm...
  • Aim for 1200 calories a day
    • I have almost never hit this in the past...I am going to strive harder to do it.


Well that is my game plan...we will have to see if it works this up coming week.

I am not longer going to settle for good enough...I have these motivation posters like the one below
I hate them lately...I mean I appreciate the thought...but this isn't good enough any more. I wanted to be down 100 pounds by my band-versary and at the rate I am losing I won't hit my goal...skating by isn't good enough for me any more...

Only my best is good enough!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Short little hello!

Hello!

I have had a good week with how I feel about myself!

I went though my closet and threw away (read at took to Goodwill) all my "Mumu". Most of my clothes were size 26w and I am not a 20w. So I was swimming in most of them.

My eating.....was TERRIBLE!

I am up about a pound I would guess. That isn't great but since weigh in day is tomorrow the best thing I can do is get myself on back on track now for next week. I am going to try to come up with something that I know that I want more then what ever I am craving at the moment.

I will post more tomorrow once I have weighed in!

Good luck and carry on!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Weigh in Wednesday

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 275.4

Today’s Weight – 275.2

Total Weight Loss – 55.4

I have to admit...I am S U P E R excited about that .2 loss!

I lost 4.6 pounds the week before and most of that was from my five day long stuck episode where I couldn't eat or drink anything...

I didn't count it as real.

It was all water right?

As you may know I have a motivation board that I hang up in my bathroom. It is one of the first things I see every day and any time I go in there. It is in the back ground when I brush my teeth and the first thing I see when I get out of the shower...

Anyways, I have mini clothes pins that I move for each pound that I want to lose...

I didn't move the 5 pins for last week...I didn't feel I had deserved it

I spent the last week trying to be good but noticed that I was suffering from a massive case of head hunger.

When I stepped on the scale this morning I fully expected it to read 277 or 278 pounds.

I had expected a gain...but it didn't happen!!!

I am going to keep up my new recipe adventure, removing gluten from my life.

I am going to keep up my treadmill workouts and hopefully find a new weight lifting program...

See you soon!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Weekend Baking...

I found this awesome blog...It is all about the Paleo Diet...It has some FANTASTIC recipes in it.

I get so motivated by some of the recipes...I miss SO many things that I am no longer allowed to eat since I can't have gluten any more...

One of those is Cheez-it crackers...my kids eat them and I stare at the wrappers longingly.

Though lots of research I discovered almond flour. It is a gluten free alternative that my body can handle...I can't stand how rice flour makes me feel...When I eat it I feel like someone hit the slo-mo button in my brain....Anyways...that doesn't happen with almond flour...

With that in mind I made shortbread cookies. I decided to just use my go too Food Network version and just replace the wheat flour with almond flour. They turned out awesome. I even dipped them in chocolate. I would have taken a photo of them but they only lasted about 3 hours before my family had devoured them...

My next adventure was "Flour-less Cheese Crackers" they should take the place of cheez-its in my life.

The recipe can be found here

These suckers are AWESOME!

They are salty, and crunchy...and have that wonderful bite that cheez-its have and the kicker is that they don't even have cheese in them. The recipe called for nutritional yeast which I was able to find at Whole Foods....They are fantastic. For an ounce of crackers they have 170 calories, 8 grams of protein, and only 4 grams of carbs.

I need to have baking weekends more often!!!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Shopping...and other things I hate

I am being initiated in to BAP on Thursday.

This requires that I be in "Business Dress"

I own exactly one pair of "dress slacks"...Here is a photo of me in them....

I look like a little kid who is trying to wear her mother's work clothes...it is REALLY hard for me to believe that I EVER fit in those pants!

Here is that elusive side view pull out...lol...I love this photo....

Anyways...needless to say I need dress clothes so I went to Kohls.

Let's start this out by saying that I HATE shopping. I especially HATE clothes shopping. All department stores assume that an overweight women wants to look like she is wearing a paisley printed trash bag. I am not one of these women. I also HATE wearing a shirt I know one of my dearly departed Grandmother's (Both live to be 95) would have LOVED!

So on I went with exactly 60 minutes allotted for my torture. I found a few cute things. I am very excited to learn that I can now wear an XL. Not a 1X plus size shirt, but an XL from the "normal" people section.
Here is a classic dressing room mirror photo with my pink phone in hand. I can wear an XL and it doesn't even look all that tight on me. The pants are a size 22w. I can easily fit into most 20W but the only "curvy fit" pants had that stupid panel in the front that relocates your fatness ABOVE the belt (which I hate) so I opted for one size bigger to avoid that. I have made good progress. When I started this I barely fit into a 26W!

Here is what I found.
An XL hounds tooth tank top and a pair of pants total cost of $36. Finished off with the ONLY jacket that I kept from my previous employed life and you get....
I think it shall work. The jacket only looks a smidgen big on me but I think I can get away with it for a while.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Week 34 Weigh In

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 280.0

Today’s Weight – 275.4

Total Weight Loss – 55.2



Holy cow!

I lost 4.6 pounds this week!

That is pretty cool!

I am prepared for a little gain next week. I had four days this week where my band was WAY TOO tight! I lost about 6 pounds in four days most of it was water! My body is still adjusting back...

I am still excited and I will take it!

I had an NSV the other day:

I ran into my friend who I hadn't seen since before surgery. We had an accounting class together in the Fall of 2012. So it has been 9 months since we have seen eachother....We now have a class together.

She came up behind me the other day in class and smacked me on the shoulder and said "I didn't even recognize you...you are so tiny now...I didn't know it was you until they said your name."

I have to admit that was AWESOME!

I have people that tell me I look good...but they are family and they don't count....this was someone who I knew casually at school...she didn't owe me a compliment or encouragement...It was great!

ON TO NEXT WEEK!

Monday, August 19, 2013

2nd unfill...ever!

Today...I woke up...still unable to eat or drink anything.

I stepped on the scale and I am down 6 pounds in 4 days...

This wasn't good!

I called my Lap-Band clinic and explained to my LPN what was going on...

She had me come in right away...

Apparently all the mucus was actual slime...I was having a "drainage" problem because my band was too tight!!!

Basically I was having one unending stuck episode.

So we took out .5 ccs...

Instantly I felt like I could finally breathe again...

Now, I have eaten a real meal for the first time in 4 days!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

OMG Kill me now....

I got an unexpected fill on Thursday.

It was unexpected in the sense that prior to yesterdays appointment, I always had a standing appointment that I made at the appointment before....

It had been two months since I had had a fill and I was just hungry all the time. I also noticed that I was eating more food then I had been. So I called them up and they squeezed me in.

That went well...I was a little amazed that they put in 1cc. They had me do a barium swallow and everything seemed fine. I stuck to my liquid diet and everything went well...Until lunch on Friday...

I ate a salmon pattie...I love these things....but I ate one that I didn't make. I assumed something that I shouldn't have. In result I couldn't keep anything down yesterday.

Apparently, I read the ingredient list AFTER eating it, they were mostly bread crumb and bread crumbs contain gluten....OMG did I just wish I could die.

I ended the day with a bucket next to my bed...I couldn't even keep water down the PBing was so bad.

Today hasn't been quite as bad. I have been able to get 54 ounces of electrolyte liquid in my system...I FINALLY managed to keep down an batch of egg salad. I WAS SO EXCITED!!! It was the first food I had eaten in three days...

Today is the first time that my calories had been over 600 since my fill...

I am thankful that it is passing but from here on out I am going to read every label on every food I even THINK about eating.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Weigh in # 34

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 281.6

Today’s Weight – 280.0

Total Weight Loss – 50.6


YAY!...I lost 1.6. Which technically I gained last week, but at least I got it back off!

Back in my WW days, I would get envious....ok that word doesn't really fit. That implys that I was hostile towards the other women in that group. I always thought that it was unfair. I would be PERFECT on my diet and lost .5 pounds. The women behind me in line would talk about how bad she was all week. Then we she sat down next to me in the meeting would tell me that she still managed to lost 1.5 pounds. That her still averaged almost 2 pounds a week. My average was .4....a sad little .4. I would lose 2 pounds one week, then .6 the next, then I would gain 1.2 pounds. This would make a weekly average of a VERY SMALL amount of weight....

And that is always how I measured my success.

I never looked at at anything...granted I never lost enough weight to ever have anything else...I never went down a dress size, I never noticed a change in the fit of...anything I owned. I would lost 20 pounds and give up. I would gain the weight back and blame anything I could think of.

This journey has been completely different.

Here I am down 50 pounds only seven months after I had surgery. I have never lost that amount of weight nor have I ever noticed the changes in my body that I have in that short time.

When I look in the mirror I no longer see the fat overweight mom who so badly wanted to be smaller but never thought that it would happen....Now I need a women who is getting in shape...changing her shape...and loving how her body is changing...

Here is a great example:


Last year...in October I had my first ever Girl Scout Neighborhood Meeting. We got to the local high school and we sit in a class room. The first time I walked into this room I didn't even think about whether or not I would fit in the desk...I fit in the ones at school...anyways...I sat down and was blown away by how painful it was to sit in this desk. The writing surface was SO tight against me that it HURT! For the remainder of the year I would either sit NEXT to the desk and use the chair as a writing surface or sit to the side of the desk areas with the other mom's who can't fit in the desks.

Monday however, seven months after surgery and almost 12 months since I my first encounter with the desk I decided to give it a try. Not only did it not hurt...I didn't have any over hang on the desk. I barely brushed the front of the writing surface...

It is these things that keep me going...I am excited for the other bloggers that I follow that lose weight faster then me and I no longer compare myself to them....As the saying goes, it doesn't matter who fast you go as long as you don't stop. I lose weight at my pace and I can't compare myself to anyone else!!

YAY FOR NSV!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Weekend Revelations...

Firstly, chest colds SUCK ASS! This cough is making me feel icky...Hope it passes soon.

Ok on to my revelations I had this weekend.

I read an article, "Peoples Choice" about Ideal Body Weight. It said that most people determine their ideal body weight based on the weight they started at. They found that women in particular would chose a higher "ideal weight" if they had more then 100 pounds to lose versus if they had less then 50.

I began pondering this...It spent about a week bouncing around my head...

I realized that I fall perfectly into this description. My husband has always believed that I could get smaller then the 190 pounds I wanted to weigh at the beginning of this journey....

Lately though....I have found no reason to believe that I can't get down to 150 pounds. That is the tippy top range of the weight range for my height. I have a medium large bone structure so I am fairly certain that I can't get down to the 130s without looking emaciated. I am just not built that way...

But there is NO reason I can think of that I can't have the body that I do want. I want to be fit not thin...I want to get as small as I can while still looking the way that I want...

I am gunna I tell you!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

TTT

1. I write one of these EVERY Thursday...well I should say that I start writing one of these every Thursday and almost NEVER finish it...

2. 30 Day Shred-  Today was Day 5...Today was the FIRST day since Sunday that I woke up feeling like I had jumped out of the way of the bus. I felt pretty good...I managed to get in my workout today and when it was over I ran downstairs and it wasn't until I got to the top of the stairs that I realize I hadn't descended or ascended the stairs like a crippled old lady....YAY for Progress!!!

3. My eating has been crappy-ish. I have been shooting for 40 grams of carbs per day...Unfortunately I have been more around 80 for the last two days...I just haven't cared...I haven't wanted to make myself care...lol!

4.  My Baby Girl's first day of 1st grade!

5. My baby girls surprise for her first day of school...She LOVES fresh cut flowers!!

6. Zucchini Boat...I am making them for dinner I got the idea off a page I liked on facebook...It is a replacement for pizza...it should be YUMMY!!!



7. Tomorrow is a new day...I am hoping to get my shit back in order...I am going to add my C25K program to my 30 Day Shred program. I think the added activity will help keep me on track!

8.ELYSIUM! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!! I am hoping to have a date night with the hubby on Saturday!!

9. New work out clothes...I bought some new ones today...the clothes that I bought seven months ago that were T I G H T ! ! ! are now about as good as wearing NOTHING! I need something that will hold all that jiggle in place while Jillian Micheal's makes me do jumping jacks....Today I bought some. the Fila pants ($16 marked down from $65) size X-Large and Danskin compression pants ($12) size 20...I also bought some new sports bras...mine were getting to be nothing more then a modesty layer...I love getting new workout gear!

10. My sleep efficiency...I wear a bodybugg...it gives me LOTS of data on how my body is working...one of the things I love watching is my sleep efficiency...Typically I sleep like crap...we are talking like of all the time I am lying down at night 66% of the time I am a sleep...Since I started the 30 Day Shred I have started averaging 87%...that is CRAZY!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Fun times in the yard...

My kids and I have fun...

We learn stuff outside...

Just like I did when I was a kid...

Today....We harvested walnuts!


 It all started because my Baby Girl found a bunch of them on the ground...

Our walnut tree is the large green mass in the background

Then she enlisted the help of her little brother....


They collected 25 found of raw walnuts...Now it is my job to hull them all...THANK GOD for Google!!!

I have no idea how much this will yield but I shouldn't have to buy walnuts for a LONG while!!!

Someday I will figure this crap out

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 278.8

Today’s Weight – 281.6

Total Weight Loss – 49

I wasn't gunna weigh in this morning...

I knew this was going to happen....

In previous posts I mentioned that I have started the JM 30 Day Shred program...

My body hates me...it rewards me for lethargy and punishes me for attempting to change...

EVERY TIME I start a weigh training program my muscles get sore, they begin to retain fluid...and I gain weight!

I know it wasn't my diet...

I burned an average of 2989 calories a day....Averaged 40 minutes of physical activity...averaged a 1270 calorie deficit...my average protein was 108g a day and my carbs averaged 69. I kept my sugar below 15g EVERYDAY!

The 1.8 pounds that I gained can't be fat...it has GOT to be fluid...

I am not going to let this stop me...I am going to keep up the workout plan and I am going to keep up my good eating...I will conquer this!

Monday, August 5, 2013

30 Day Shred...OMG...

I bought this DVD almost a month ago...


I had had the intention of doing it as my workout when I was visiting my mom...Between the twice daily walks to McDonalds (one mile each time, and I never had more than a soda)...I never got around to it.

Well yesterday I broke the seal and did my first every Jillian Michaels workout...

OH MY GOD!

This program KICKED my ass...I will admit I am not in the greatest of shape...I am in better shape then most people my size but still...I am SO sore!

I took a photo of me yesterday...after the fact...

I am NOT trying to be intense...I was just so tired that I couldn't even think of smiling...I had sweat running down EVERYWHERE! It was gross...and wonderful!

I unintentionally did it again today...I was baking spaghetti squash and thought..."What on earth am I going to do with myself for 40 minutes? I know... Lets let Jillian Michaels KICK my butt!"

I am so sore...the ab workout makes sharp breaths hurt...this is kinda sucky since I am still battling a cold, but it is totally worth it!

I have posted my Day 1 photo and will post an update at Day 15 and finally at Day 30. I know it won't be done at the end of the 30 days so I will most likely keep updating them...

On too tomorrow!!!


Friday, August 2, 2013

Worst stuck episode EVER

OMG...

Today I spent the day at the Saint Louis Zoo with my wonderful kiddos...

Ever since I got home from my mom's house I have been fighting this cold...

Today it reared it ULGY head...

I had the worst stuck episode after a coughing fit...

I hadn't eaten...or drank anything...

I got stuck...on phlem!

It was gross and uncomfortable and resulted in an episode involving a bush and hoping no one would notice...

I hate stuck episodes mostly I HATE the ones where the things get stuck but won't come up regardless of what you do...

Ok I am over it...but thought I would share!...lol

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Week 31 weigh in...

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 283.2

Today’s Weight – 279.8

Total Weight Loss – 50.8

First time under 280 since I gave birth to my daughter 6.75 years ago!
OMG!

I am down 3.4 pounds!

That is very impressive since I was at my Mom's for the last fifteen days!

It isn't the greatest average weekly loss but I was SO afraid that I would gain!

Also I am officially at the 50 pounds loss mark...I have NEVER lost that much weight before. I think that most I have ever lost was on WW when I was in high school and it was right around 30 pounds.

I am so excited...I feel fantastic and I am on track to lose 90 pounds by the end of the year. That will be 10 pounds shy of my goal but that is AWESOME just the same!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Home Sweet Home and Some Baking Fun!!

OMG...I am so glad to be home. The last two weeks have been C R A Z Y!

Man I missed my hubby and my kids were driving me NUTS!

I feel so bad for all the single moms out there. I at least knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anywho...I am home and nervous about my weigh in on Wednesday...it has been almost three weeks since I stepped on the official scale.

Ok on to the baking fun...

While I was on vacation...I learned A LOT about the Paleo Diet. It is a plan where you eat what the human body was designed to eat as long as that ate what it was designed to eat.

So meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts...no beans or grains...

With that in mind I was beginning to CRAVE something sweet and desert like...my friend posted the recipe for these...


Now before you call foul...

These suckers have NO FLOUR...they are made of almond butter, zucchini, raw honey, chocolate chips, egg, and a few spices...

OMG these things are AMAZING!

I have posted the recipe on the recipe page!

Alright see you in a few days when I weigh in...keep your fingers crossed!


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Self loathing and "Fat Girl Mentality"

Self Loathing:  

I suck...

I had all these noble intention when I started this little vacation.

I am not using this as an excuse it is merely an explanation...I forgot my BC pills at home. I don't use them for their purpose, they are to treat my PCOS. The major drawback to this is that my period started three weeks early...and it started only 8 days after my last one. you would think that this would be a easy, less painful one...it SO isn't!

Becasue of the pain and the stress of this trip, I have been eating a ton of shit I shouldn't. I have eaten chinese food, potato oles, brownies, chips, cookies, rice....I mean...I know better...

This is where the "Fat Girl Mentality" come from...

Fat Girl Mentality

I have found myself thinking...."Well I already f-ed up for the day why should I bother?" This is stupid and I need to STOP!

I need to stop making excuses...that is part of the reason why I am writing this blog. I need something to look back on and realize that I have messed up...

Step in the right direction

I found these AWESOME Bento Boxes at Walmart. I got one for me and one for my daughter. It has a shelf that you throw in the freezer, a section for your main course, and then three containers for stuff.

I am excited...I am going to pack my daughter healthy lunches.  She won't be eating any more of the shitty public school out of a box lunches that she had last year.

I also got one for me. This upcoming semester I have an hour and forty five minute break between classes and I am going to pack my lunch. I am going to make me healthy lunches that are band and paleo friendly...

In conclusion:

While I accept the fact that I may fail...I am going to stop the excuses right now. No more brownies/chips/crap for me. I am going to make healthy stuff even if I have to go to the store to buy it myself. I am not going to push my eating habits onto everyone else, but I am no longer going to adapt theirs!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Homesick...

Man...this is going to be a long 15 day trip... I am only at the end of day 1 and I already want to go home!

I LOVE my mom...I mean this women is my hero. She is the strongest and smartest women I know. She is a wonderful mom and while we have our moments of war and turmoil I couldn't have asked for a better parent,mentor and, now later in life, friend.

With that said...I was in Denver, CO today...Taking my babies to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science (I used to go here for my birthday...it is my "Most wonderful place on earth")

Anywho...on the way home today I passed the I-70 junction...

Every cell in my being wanted to take the on ramp to I-70 East. If you follow that road for 846 miles you end up 3 miles from my house....

3 miles from MY house...where each of my children had their own room and they don't wake each other up at 3am...where my wonderful husband sleeps who calms me down when I have bad dreams even if it is just hearing him breathing at night...where I can sit in the comfort of my stuff and not worry that my children make every building with four walls look like a bomb went off...

What is funny, if I HATE my house. I would love to knock it to the ground and start from scratch...It is my hubby...he is my "safe place". If he were able to be here with me I would be fine. To be honest, the cologne scented bear is just not cutting it...

I want to go home!

I am PRAYING that tomorrow when my mom comes home it will be better.

Thank god the surgery has gone better than anyone thought...she is getting to come home a day earlier then originally planned. I am hoping that since she was once my "safe place" that this overwhelming desire to cry or pack up my stuff will disapate some.

I have to admit that I feel a bit embarrassed airing out this particular weakness...but if I can't tell the anonymous world out there that every cell in my body NEEDS my husband who can I tell...It seems so stupid to be this attached to someone.

THANK GOD ( or whoever is out there)  that my kids are with me...without them I have no idea what I would do.


Saturday, July 13, 2013

I am never going to drink again...

OMG I had SOOO much fun today...

My hubby and I got invited out on a winery trip. Missouri is wine country...which is not something I new before I moved here...

We had SO much fun but I drank WAY WAY WAY too much.

I apparently can't handle my wine as well as I used to.

We went to Montelle first. They have free wine tasting...who ever came up with that was a genius! At Montelle, they have this GREAT wine that is call Stone House White. It is a semi-sweet wine that was so easy to drink...which was part of the problem.

We got crackers, salami, four different types of cheeses and just sat on this BEAUTIFUL terrace over looking the country side. It is a breathtaking site!



The only draw back to this winery was that we apparently missed the memo that stated that all guys should be in polo shirts with khaki pants and the women should be in sun dresses. We on the other hand were wearing jeans and shirts. It was hilarious to us...

After our bottles were empty and the cheese and crackers were gone we moved on to Blumenhof. It was another winery where the tasting is free!

We got this....


This was an AWESOME sweet wine...for $26 bucks a bottle it had better be good!

I had too much to drink by this point and was having very inappropriate conversation with my friend E while we were here.

We fit in much better here...everyone else was in jeans and shirts as well....We dubbed it the "Redneck Winery"

I needed this...I have been so wound up lately over school and my impending trip that I need a fun day out with some adults.

After the drinking was over, I was hurting...the hangover headache started early. I suffered though most of dinner and ice cream but the Thai food was AMAZING and Oberwise was wonderful as always. They have this no sugar added frozen yogurt which make the fat girl in me VERY happy but keeps me on track....

While all this was going on...My kids had a blast as well...they went to the church picnic and rode rides until there little heads fell off... They spent the night with my dad as is there normal Saturday night routine and they can't way to go to the picnic again tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Le sigh....

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 282.2

Today’s Weight – 283.2

Total Weight Loss – 47.4

Gain of 1 pound...I can't say that I am surprised...

My eating and activity were on point...July 4th was my only bad day...but the scale was not being my friend all week. I am thankful that it wasn't as high as it has been earlier in the week. That would have made me depressed...

My wedding ring isn't fitting...I am retaining water...not sure why....it is the next thing on my list of crap to figure out....(I am pretty sure this is where the extra pound is from)

I had my final in accounting today...I had a 98% going into the final and now by an act of God I may end up with an A-. Most likely I will end up with a B+. Most ( read as normal)  people would be happy with that...not me. I won't cry over a B+ but I am a bit irritated at myself.

Well, I now have four more days until I drive to my moms...I am not looking forward to being away from the hubby for two weeks but I shall survive!

Onward!!!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Scale Whore No More!

OMG I hate the stupid stupid scale...

It makes me feel inadequate sometimes...

My carbs have been fantastic...well except the 4th of July where my carbs hit 100g. One day should NOT have made me gain the five pounds that my scale claims I have back on!

I wish that I could resist the stupid ass silver square that sits at the end of my bed...

I am promising to myself that I will NOT step on the evil thing until Wednesday...which is weigh in day!

I will have to break myself of this in exactly one week...

On July 15th, I am packing up myself and my two kids into my awesome van and spend 16 hours in the car driving to my mom's house. She is having knee replacement surgery on the 15th and I am going back to take care of her while she recuperates. We did this last year and it was a long fifteen days but we survived and will do so again.

My goal for this trip is to NOT gain a single ounce...I will be perfectly happy if I weight exactly the same when I get back as when I leave!

My plan for this vacation to achieve this goal is the following...

1)Log everything that I eat
2)Move at least a little everyday
3)Don't go carb crazy (I know there will be days when it will be high...just based on the restaurants that my mommy likes)
4)Cook more often then we eat out

I will try to keep up with this whole blogging thing while I am gone but I can't make any promises...


Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sugar Detox Update and Weigh in

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 284.8

Today’s Weight – 282.2

Total Weight Loss – 48.4


WOW....

The last three days have been hard/emotional/enlightening...and many other words that I am sure I could come up with if I so wanted....

My sugar detox went well...I survived....The first day was the WORST!

My husband had to be my self control...It was bad...I was ready to eat my own arm to just have something. Every cell in my body wanted crackers, chips, bread....I mean anything that was made of sugar my mind wanted me to shove it into my mouth.

The second day was so much better. I was able to control myself and I felt wonderful!

I think I have learned that keeping my sugar and carbs as low as possible is important for me. I suffer from this thing called a nonallergic rhinitis...which from my understanding means that my body is having a histamine reaction to something despite a negative allergy test. What I have noticed is that if I don't eat bread/grains/sugar I don't have the rhinitis symptoms...so that makes a girl think.

Anyways...I am pretty sure my lack of carbs helped me lose the 2.6 pounds for this week.

I went in for my fill appointment and had officially lost 10lbs in one month and was super excited because my FNP agreed that I didn't need another fill. I don't have to come in for any more appointments unless I want to or think I need a tweak.

THANK GOD!



Saturday, June 29, 2013

Sugar detox...

So I read this blog...300 Pounds Down

Holly is a real inspiration to me

She has an amazing story and you should totally check it out of you don't follow her.

She didn't have lap-band surgery but I have learned that it doesn't matter what type of WLS you had we are all a family.

I have gotten this idea from her...

I have been tired, moody, and suffering from head hunger.

I have one idea as to why...

Too much sugar!!!

So I am going to follow Holly's lead and do a sugar detox. I am going to spend the next three days only drinking low sugar protein shakes. I know that this won't be easy...but I did it for a week when I was on the pre-op diet and I can do it again. For the same reason...To get what I want out of life!

I shall keep you posted!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It is Wednesday already???

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 286.4

Today’s Weight – 284.8

Total Weight Loss – 45.8


I cannot believe that it is Wednesday already....

What a week...

For whatever reason it was a short but stressful one. I can not sure why it was stressful but it was.

I still managed to lost 1.6 pounds this week...which is about a pound more than I thought I would have. I had a TON of water in my legs yesterday but thanks to a water pill suggested by my doc I am free of it today!

I am debating on a switch up in my exercise plan...I think I am going to try out boxing!

I will keep you posted!!!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Snacks....and such....

Ok so....I get HUGE cravings for sweets...

I LOVE ice cream...but I usually only eat about two scoops. Before my banding...it was ALWAYS my down fall. I would stick to a diet and about a week in my body would SCREAM for the cold delicious creamy concoction that I could normally go without as long as I wasn't banned from eating it.

Since my banding...I find that I still want ice cream, but I order it knowing that I can't eat as much as I used too. Now I stick to one scoop. I eat it and then get depressed when I look at the nutritional information. It is almost always double digit carbs and little to no protein. This is a no no according to what I have found is my lap band diet.

I have found a solution to this....
My wonderful kitchenaid mixer with the ice cream maker attachment. This thing is AWESOME! The bowl has a liquid mixture and you throw the entire thing in the freezer, 12 hours later you can make ice cream!

I made this...

Chocolate Protein Ice Cream!!!!

The recipe is as follows:

In a blender combine the following:
1 1/4 cup milk (I used 1% cows milk)
3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 tbsp stevia ( or sweetener of your choice- sugar will drastically increase the carbs in this)
2 scoops vanilla protein powder.

mix on a high speed until the mixture is frothy...pour mixture into your ice cream maker and follow manufacture instructions...

When you have it at a soft serve consistency move to a container and place in freezer. This will freeze hard as a rock. When you wanna scoop it out defrost in your the microwave for 15-20 seconds.

The nutrition information on this is as follows:
Serving = 1/4 of total mixture
Calories: 106
Fat: 1.2g
Carbs: 7.5g
Protein: 18g

This stuff is awesome...You can easily change the flavor by changing the protein powder and the things you add.

Totally keeps me on track!

I just had to share....

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Wacky Weigh In Wednesday

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 290.0

Today’s Weight – 286.4

Total Weight Loss – 44.2


SWEET!...I lost 3.6 pounds in one week.

I had a fairly awesome week so I am not surprised as much as I am glad that my hard work was confirmed by the scale.

I exercised everyday except Saturday...I only had one day where my calories were more than 1200. Which has NEVER happened for me. I typically float around 1700 calories a day...But since my last fill...I can't help but feel like I have FINALLY gotten to where I was meant to be this whole time. That elusive green zone has been teasing me and I have finally gotten there...Thank god!

As of today I have hit the mini mile stone that I had set for myself. Well actually I crushed it.

My short term goal has been to hit 25% loss of my excess body weight. So of the 165 pounds that I want to lose, I needed to lose 42 to hit 25%....I am at 44.2...So HA!...lol

God I am so close to 50 pounds...I have never lost that much.

In all my history of dieting and weight loss I lose motivation and have too hard a time sticking the the ridiculously restrictive diet that I had chosen to do. They always worked for a while and then I would go crazy and eat whatever it was that I felt I wasn't allowed to eat for the eight weeks I managed to stick to the "Whatever its name is" diet. Those 25 pounds I did managed to lose would be back on my ass in about 3 weeks and as I am sure you all know so would an additional ten pounds.

I don't feel that way this time. I got up this morning and pondered my options for breakfast...I could have made anything. Pancakes, waffles, eggs and toast...but I WANTED my protein shake. I am happy that only a cup of a high protein meal is all that I need and that I am not hungry for pretty close to four hours.

Making the jump to get my band was the greatest decision I have EVER made.

UPDATE: My baby girl is well on the road to recovery. She hasn't had a fever in 15 hours and is back to her bouncing happy self. THANK GOD!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Somedays I HATE being a parent....

My baby girl...

My precious little 6 year old...

For the first time in her life...Has strep!

She is miserable...She has a fever of 101.9, a sore throat, and can't keep much down.

She isn't hungry and is kinda weak...

IT IS KILLING ME!!!

I just want to scoop away her pain and take it in myself so that she doesn't have to feel this horrible.

I have spent most of the morning sitting with her and stroking her hair (that is what my mom used to do when I was sick)

The worst part of being a parent is knowing you aren't able to protect them from the pain.

I sent my poor little baby boy to his Grandfather's house. I figure the less he is exposed the better off I am in the long run. Boy I hope he doesn't get sick too!