Saturday, July 20, 2013

Self loathing and "Fat Girl Mentality"

Self Loathing:  

I suck...

I had all these noble intention when I started this little vacation.

I am not using this as an excuse it is merely an explanation...I forgot my BC pills at home. I don't use them for their purpose, they are to treat my PCOS. The major drawback to this is that my period started three weeks early...and it started only 8 days after my last one. you would think that this would be a easy, less painful SO isn't!

Becasue of the pain and the stress of this trip, I have been eating a ton of shit I shouldn't. I have eaten chinese food, potato oles, brownies, chips, cookies, rice....I mean...I know better...

This is where the "Fat Girl Mentality" come from...

Fat Girl Mentality

I have found myself thinking...."Well I already f-ed up for the day why should I bother?" This is stupid and I need to STOP!

I need to stop making excuses...that is part of the reason why I am writing this blog. I need something to look back on and realize that I have messed up...

Step in the right direction

I found these AWESOME Bento Boxes at Walmart. I got one for me and one for my daughter. It has a shelf that you throw in the freezer, a section for your main course, and then three containers for stuff.

I am excited...I am going to pack my daughter healthy lunches.  She won't be eating any more of the shitty public school out of a box lunches that she had last year.

I also got one for me. This upcoming semester I have an hour and forty five minute break between classes and I am going to pack my lunch. I am going to make me healthy lunches that are band and paleo friendly...

In conclusion:

While I accept the fact that I may fail...I am going to stop the excuses right now. No more brownies/chips/crap for me. I am going to make healthy stuff even if I have to go to the store to buy it myself. I am not going to push my eating habits onto everyone else, but I am no longer going to adapt theirs!


  1. Its very easy to fall into bad habits when you are away from your familiar. At least you recognize it and are making an effort to fix it. The stress of caregiving can make us look for escape...and that is usually in food. You v
    Can get through this.

  2. Definitely. I think we all have been there, done that. It's great that you recognize it and are ready to move forward. Don't punish yourself. Just get up, move on. We're pulling for you!