Man...this is going to be a long 15 day trip... I am only at the end of day 1 and I already want to go home!
I LOVE my mom...I mean this women is my hero. She is the strongest and smartest women I know. She is a wonderful mom and while we have our moments of war and turmoil I couldn't have asked for a better parent,mentor and, now later in life, friend.
With that said...I was in Denver, CO today...Taking my babies to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science (I used to go here for my birthday...it is my "Most wonderful place on earth")
Anywho...on the way home today I passed the I-70 junction...
Every cell in my being wanted to take the on ramp to I-70 East. If you follow that road for 846 miles you end up 3 miles from my house....
3 miles from MY house...where each of my children had their own room and they don't wake each other up at 3am...where my wonderful husband sleeps who calms me down when I have bad dreams even if it is just hearing him breathing at night...where I can sit in the comfort of my stuff and not worry that my children make every building with four walls look like a bomb went off...
What is funny, if I HATE my house. I would love to knock it to the ground and start from scratch...It is my hubby...he is my "safe place". If he were able to be here with me I would be fine. To be honest, the cologne scented bear is just not cutting it...
I want to go home!
I am PRAYING that tomorrow when my mom comes home it will be better.
Thank god the surgery has gone better than anyone thought...she is getting to come home a day earlier then originally planned. I am hoping that since she was once my "safe place" that this overwhelming desire to cry or pack up my stuff will disapate some.
I have to admit that I feel a bit embarrassed airing out this particular weakness...but if I can't tell the anonymous world out there that every cell in my body NEEDS my husband who can I tell...It seems so stupid to be this attached to someone.
THANK GOD ( or whoever is out there) that my kids are with me...without them I have no idea what I would do.
the ELB is my safe place. i know that no matter what happens, as long as he's with me, i'll be okay. and when we are apart, i miss having him there. You will get through this. I had a fake ELB for a time (a pillow with one of his tshirts sprayed with his body spray) that I held in bed, and that helped--but it's not the same as having them with you.
ReplyDeleteYour in my thoughts and prayers--you are stronger than you think you are--you can get through this, you can be the strong person that your mom needs you to be--it's only a temporary separation--you will be back with your husband soon!
*hugs*