Week 31 weigh in...

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 283.2

Today’s Weight – 279.8

Total Weight Loss – 50.8

First time under 280 since I gave birth to my daughter 6.75 years ago!

OMG!

I am down 3.4 pounds!

That is very impressive since I was at my Mom's for the last fifteen days!

It isn't the greatest average weekly loss but I was SO afraid that I would gain!

Also I am officially at the 50 pounds loss mark...I have NEVER lost that much weight before. I think that most I have ever lost was on WW when I was in high school and it was right around 30 pounds.

I am so excited...I feel fantastic and I am on track to lose 90 pounds by the end of the year. That will be 10 pounds shy of my goal but that is AWESOME just the same!

Home Sweet Home and Some Baking Fun!!

OMG...I am so glad to be home. The last two weeks have been C R A Z Y!

Man I missed my hubby and my kids were driving me NUTS!

I feel so bad for all the single moms out there. I at least knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anywho...I am home and nervous about my weigh in on Wednesday...it has been almost three weeks since I stepped on the official scale.

Ok on to the baking fun...

While I was on vacation...I learned A LOT about the Paleo Diet. It is a plan where you eat what the human body was designed to eat as long as that ate what it was designed to eat.

So meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts...no beans or grains...

With that in mind I was beginning to CRAVE something sweet and desert like...my friend posted the recipe for these...

Now before you call foul...

These suckers have NO FLOUR...they are made of almond butter, zucchini, raw honey, chocolate chips, egg, and a few spices...

OMG these things are AMAZING!

I have posted the recipe on the recipe page!

Alright see you in a few days when I weigh in...keep your fingers crossed!

Self loathing and "Fat Girl Mentality"

Self Loathing:  

I suck...

I had all these noble intention when I started this little vacation.

I am not using this as an excuse it is merely an explanation...I forgot my BC pills at home. I don't use them for their purpose, they are to treat my PCOS. The major drawback to this is that my period started three weeks early...and it started only 8 days after my last one. you would think that this would be a easy, less painful one...it SO isn't!

Becasue of the pain and the stress of this trip, I have been eating a ton of shit I shouldn't. I have eaten chinese food, potato oles, brownies, chips, cookies, rice....I mean...I know better...

This is where the "Fat Girl Mentality" come from...

Fat Girl Mentality

I have found myself thinking...."Well I already f-ed up for the day why should I bother?" This is stupid and I need to STOP!

I need to stop making excuses...that is part of the reason why I am writing this blog. I need something to look back on and realize that I have messed up...

Step in the right direction

I found these AWESOME Bento Boxes at Walmart. I got one for me and one for my daughter. It has a shelf that you throw in the freezer, a section for your main course, and then three containers for stuff.

I am excited...I am going to pack my daughter healthy lunches.  She won't be eating any more of the shitty public school out of a box lunches that she had last year.

I also got one for me. This upcoming semester I have an hour and forty five minute break between classes and I am going to pack my lunch. I am going to make me healthy lunches that are band and paleo friendly...

In conclusion:

While I accept the fact that I may fail...I am going to stop the excuses right now. No more brownies/chips/crap for me. I am going to make healthy stuff even if I have to go to the store to buy it myself. I am not going to push my eating habits onto everyone else, but I am no longer going to adapt theirs!

Homesick...

Man...this is going to be a long 15 day trip... I am only at the end of day 1 and I already want to go home!

I LOVE my mom...I mean this women is my hero. She is the strongest and smartest women I know. She is a wonderful mom and while we have our moments of war and turmoil I couldn't have asked for a better parent,mentor and, now later in life, friend.

With that said...I was in Denver, CO today...Taking my babies to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science (I used to go here for my birthday...it is my "Most wonderful place on earth")

Anywho...on the way home today I passed the I-70 junction...

Every cell in my being wanted to take the on ramp to I-70 East. If you follow that road for 846 miles you end up 3 miles from my house....

3 miles from MY house...where each of my children had their own room and they don't wake each other up at 3am...where my wonderful husband sleeps who calms me down when I have bad dreams even if it is just hearing him breathing at night...where I can sit in the comfort of my stuff and not worry that my children make every building with four walls look like a bomb went off...

What is funny, if I HATE my house. I would love to knock it to the ground and start from scratch...It is my hubby...he is my "safe place". If he were able to be here with me I would be fine. To be honest, the cologne scented bear is just not cutting it...

I want to go home!

I am PRAYING that tomorrow when my mom comes home it will be better.

Thank god the surgery has gone better than anyone thought...she is getting to come home a day earlier then originally planned. I am hoping that since she was once my "safe place" that this overwhelming desire to cry or pack up my stuff will disapate some.

I have to admit that I feel a bit embarrassed airing out this particular weakness...but if I can't tell the anonymous world out there that every cell in my body NEEDS my husband who can I tell...It seems so stupid to be this attached to someone.

THANK GOD ( or whoever is out there)  that my kids are with me...without them I have no idea what I would do.

I am never going to drink again...

OMG I had SOOO much fun today...

My hubby and I got invited out on a winery trip. Missouri is wine country...which is not something I new before I moved here...

We had SO much fun but I drank WAY WAY WAY too much.

I apparently can't handle my wine as well as I used to.

We went to Montelle first. They have free wine tasting...who ever came up with that was a genius! At Montelle, they have this GREAT wine that is call Stone House White. It is a semi-sweet wine that was so easy to drink...which was part of the problem.

We got crackers, salami, four different types of cheeses and just sat on this BEAUTIFUL terrace over looking the country side. It is a breathtaking site!

The only draw back to this winery was that we apparently missed the memo that stated that all guys should be in polo shirts with khaki pants and the women should be in sun dresses. We on the other hand were wearing jeans and shirts. It was hilarious to us...

After our bottles were empty and the cheese and crackers were gone we moved on to Blumenhof. It was another winery where the tasting is free!

We got this....

This was an AWESOME sweet wine...for $26 bucks a bottle it had better be good!

I had too much to drink by this point and was having very inappropriate conversation with my friend E while we were here.

We fit in much better here...everyone else was in jeans and shirts as well....We dubbed it the "Redneck Winery"

I needed this...I have been so wound up lately over school and my impending trip that I need a fun day out with some adults.

After the drinking was over, I was hurting...the hangover headache started early. I suffered though most of dinner and ice cream but the Thai food was AMAZING and Oberwise was wonderful as always. They have this no sugar added frozen yogurt which make the fat girl in me VERY happy but keeps me on track....

While all this was going on...My kids had a blast as well...they went to the church picnic and rode rides until there little heads fell off... They spent the night with my dad as is there normal Saturday night routine and they can't way to go to the picnic again tomorrow!

Le sigh....

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 282.2

Today’s Weight – 283.2

Total Weight Loss – 47.4

Gain of 1 pound...I can't say that I am surprised...

My eating and activity were on point...July 4th was my only bad day...but the scale was not being my friend all week. I am thankful that it wasn't as high as it has been earlier in the week. That would have made me depressed...

My wedding ring isn't fitting...I am retaining water...not sure why....it is the next thing on my list of crap to figure out....(I am pretty sure this is where the extra pound is from)

I had my final in accounting today...I had a 98% going into the final and now by an act of God I may end up with an A-. Most likely I will end up with a B+. Most ( read as normal)  people would be happy with that...not me. I won't cry over a B+ but I am a bit irritated at myself.

Well, I now have four more days until I drive to my moms...I am not looking forward to being away from the hubby for two weeks but I shall survive!

Onward!!!

Scale Whore No More!

OMG I hate the stupid stupid scale...

It makes me feel inadequate sometimes...

My carbs have been fantastic...well except the 4th of July where my carbs hit 100g. One day should NOT have made me gain the five pounds that my scale claims I have back on!

I wish that I could resist the stupid ass silver square that sits at the end of my bed...

I am promising to myself that I will NOT step on the evil thing until Wednesday...which is weigh in day!

I will have to break myself of this in exactly one week...

On July 15th, I am packing up myself and my two kids into my awesome van and spend 16 hours in the car driving to my mom's house. She is having knee replacement surgery on the 15th and I am going back to take care of her while she recuperates. We did this last year and it was a long fifteen days but we survived and will do so again.

My goal for this trip is to NOT gain a single ounce...I will be perfectly happy if I weight exactly the same when I get back as when I leave!

My plan for this vacation to achieve this goal is the following...

1)Log everything that I eat
2)Move at least a little everyday
3)Don't go carb crazy (I know there will be days when it will be high...just based on the restaurants that my mommy likes)
4)Cook more often then we eat out

I will try to keep up with this whole blogging thing while I am gone but I can't make any promises...

Sugar Detox Update and Weigh in

Beginning Weight (12/20/2012)- 330.6

Last Week’s Weight – 284.8

Today’s Weight – 282.2

Total Weight Loss – 48.4

WOW....

The last three days have been hard/emotional/enlightening...and many other words that I am sure I could come up with if I so wanted....

My sugar detox went well...I survived....The first day was the WORST!

My husband had to be my self control...It was bad...I was ready to eat my own arm to just have something. Every cell in my body wanted crackers, chips, bread....I mean anything that was made of sugar my mind wanted me to shove it into my mouth.

The second day was so much better. I was able to control myself and I felt wonderful!

I think I have learned that keeping my sugar and carbs as low as possible is important for me. I suffer from this thing called a nonallergic rhinitis...which from my understanding means that my body is having a histamine reaction to something despite a negative allergy test. What I have noticed is that if I don't eat bread/grains/sugar I don't have the rhinitis symptoms...so that makes a girl think.

Anyways...I am pretty sure my lack of carbs helped me lose the 2.6 pounds for this week.

I went in for my fill appointment and had officially lost 10lbs in one month and was super excited because my FNP agreed that I didn't need another fill. I don't have to come in for any more appointments unless I want to or think I need a tweak.

THANK GOD!